Is Love a Feeling or a Choice? What the Catholic Church Teaches About True Love in Marriage
Is love a fleeting feeling or a deliberate decision?
In this episode of “The Catholic Gentleman,” John Heinen, Sam Guzman, and Devin Schadt discuss what "true love" really means for Catholics and how it’s often at odds with society.
Unlike the flighty whims of feelings we see in every rom-com or pop song, true love in Catholic marriage is about choosing your spouse, especially when it's hard.
“Love is going through the sacrifice, it is going through the pain, it is going through the suffering and it is recommitting to the beauty of the other. It is incredibly difficult, and it's meant that way on purpose,” John says.
Society often paints love as an endless chase after happiness, where personal satisfaction is the ultimate goal. However, this shallow portrayal falls short of the profound, sacrificial love taught by the Church.
Sacrificial love transcends the superficial and fosters a deeper unity between spouses.
“Love is an act of the will, an action that we come back to day in and day out. It is not a feeling. Our vows matter. What you say matters," John says.
As Catholics, we're called to emulate Christ's love for the Church.
In the sacrament of marriage, vows are not mere words, but lifelong promises. They mirror the fidelity, sacrifice, and unconditional love of Christ—a tall order, yet one that's at the heart of every marriage!
Joy and intimacy of marriage shouldn’t stem from perpetual romantic bliss, but instead from the depth and richness of its love.
"Marriage is hard because it's throwing us into close proximity with another fallen human being day in and day out,” Sam says.
The gentlemen encourage listeners to see the real beauty of love as God designed it—demanding, yes, but also deeply rewarding.
In a culture quick to discard anything challenging, they say the Catholic teaching of love invites us to something greater!