Are you aching to find a spouse?
Jackie Angel, a Catholic speaker, musician, and podcast host with Ascension Presents, provides five powerful pieces of advice for Catholic singles longing for marriage.
1) Aching is for God
Angel mentions that each person has an “ache,” a desire in their hearts. But when we fill it with unholy things, we are still unsatisfied.
“Everybody’s got an ache, we have an ache, this longing, and yearning inside our hearts. Some people fill it with drugs, alcohol, sex, money, and success… but only God can fill that ache. Even my husband, the man of my dreams, my best friend, doesn’t satisfy that ache. Because that ache alone is for God…every time we try to fill it with something else... We always feel that ache afterward. That’s how we know we’re not made for this world, we’re made for Heaven.”
She continues, “When you feel that ache that’s an opportunity to turn to God in prayer and just sit and let God love you.”
Angel encourages people to read Psalm 63 and reflect when needed.
2) Be Healthy and Holy Now
“If you are not happy as a single person, you are not going to be happy as a married person.”
Angel notes that if you have unresolved wounds, there is no shame in seeking help. She suggests that many people believe that once they have a spouse their problems will be solved, but that is never the case. More often, these wounds are more exposed.
“Get a spiritual director, go to therapy, get help, be as happy and holy as you can be now as a single person and that will help you in your marriage.”
3) Memento Mori
Angel mentions that the Catholic belief of “memento mori” or “remember your death” helped her realize that our death is certain and pausing life to wait for a spouse was not helpful.
She shares, “Life doesn’t last forever. When I was single, it would help me to think ‘I may die tomorrow, I may never get married on this earth…and that would help me think I want to live life to its fullest today. I’m not going to sit and pine about my future and sit and whine, I want to be happy today…’ ”
“Your life doesn’t start once you get married, your life doesn’t start once you get a boyfriend or girlfriend, your life is happening right now. So go travel, go on adventures, get to know Jesus, get to know yourself, have fun… live your life now.”
4) “God won’t show you gold and give you silver.”
Angel discusses the sting that comes from rejection.
“I know rejection stinks,” she shares. “If you have been rejected you might think, ‘What did I do wrong, there’s something wrong with me, I’m not good enough.’ That is the devil…”
“That person that you are pining after, that you are still in love with, even though they rejected you... remember they are for somebody else,” Angel continues. “They are called to marry somebody else and you’re called to marry somebody else. It is not about you not being good enough. You are good enough and God has a plan for you. And God has somebody that is right for you. That person? They’re not right for you, they’re right for somebody else.”
5) Be Patient and Trust God - His Timing is the Best!
Angel shares that while being patient is probably the hardest thing to do, it has a purpose. She says that the more time you have to grow in holiness, the better.
Angel notes that if she and Bobby (her husband) had met five years earlier, neither of them would have been ready.
“He was working on us. God had to do some things in us before we met each other.”
She noted that she would pray often for her future spouse and vocation.
“His timing is way better than our own, so you might as well trust that God knows what He’s doing. You are his son, His daughter, and He absolutely loves you and God wants us to be happy. Whether you’re in the single or married live, He wants you to live a life of joy and that comes above all. That ache is for Him alone.”