5 Easy Steps to Terrifying Your Neighbors with the Gospel This Halloween
It’s hard to believe, but Halloween (or is it All Hallows’ Eve?) is less than a week away!
Want to be able to share your faith in your neighborhood this Halloween? Here’s what you need to do…
Step 1: Make enigmatic Christian-themed jack-o-lanterns
– Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI is gonna get you…
– Or how about a foreboding Immaculate Heart of Mary image? Depending on who your neighbors are, this may actually be scarier once they find out what it is.
– Or you can pay tribute to the epicly botched Ecce Homo.
Step 2: Dress your children up in gruesome martyr costumes
– The cold, dead head of St. John the Baptist on a platter – hey, it’s biblical.
– Or have your son be St. Denis, who supposedly preached for 10 miles after getting his head chopped off.
Step 3: Have traditional Christian funeral music playing in your house for trick-or-treaters to hear
– Dies Irae, or “Day of Wrath,” was a part of the traditional Catholic Mass for the Dead (it’s also hidden in all your favorite movies)
– Mozart’s Requiem Mass in D minor will remind them of their inescapable death, or Amadeus.
– Requiem Aeternam is enough to scare anyone into the Church
Step 4: Fill your front porch with (fake) skulls, paying tribute to Europe’s “bone churches”
A few examples for inspiration:
– Skull Chapel in Czermna, Poland
– Sedlec Ossuary in the Czech Republic
Step 5: Give out re-branded Christian candy
This will really bring all your other efforts together. Your trick-or-treaters will think they’re getting just normal candy, but when they get home and take a closer look… Ahhh! …you’ll really get ’em.