When most people see a married couple who chose adoption for one reason or another, we can easily focus on the parents and the child.
It is also easy to view adoption as a multitude of things. For example, removing a child from a poor foster care system, providing a new life for a child from an impoverished country, or seeing the child as a blessing for an infertile couple. The list goes on.
Though for every adopted child, no matter where they came from or for whatever circumstances, there is a birthmother attached to their story.
She is woman who said YES to the life of her child and will never be able to raise her child. For some, she will never see her child again.
Then why is there not more support for birthparents? Why do the millions of women who chose life and placed a child up for adoption remain silent?
Why are there so many stigmas, like birthmothers are unfit parents, live in poverty, are addicts, or just don’t love their child? It is why many birthmothers live in shame.
I should know, I am a birthmother.
My son was born January 19, 2018. It is a long, but amazing story that I am slowly learning how to share. Every birth-mom has a different story–different reasons for placement, and different adoption agreements.
Though we share one thing…we understand the sacrifice that comes with saying ‘yes’.
I think to fully understand adoption from all perspectives, we must understand how God has fully adopted us as His own. When we can believe in our Maker’s love and His sacrifice for us, that is when we can grasp the beauty of adoption.
“Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God—children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God.” (Jn. 1:12-13)
You are a child of God and you don’t have to earn it or do anything extraordinary. But God calls you His son or daughter just as you are today.
When a parent sees their newborn child, they don’t think they’re not good enough, worthless, or shameful.
Think about that.
Can you picture a newborn child and their parents saying, “Eh, they’re never going to amount to anything; they’re not lovable.”
Remember: God’s grace doesn’t only bless other people, and he doesn’t forget about us or say we are not good enough for Him. God not only loved my son first, but He loved me first and He loved you first.
So if adoption is the center that makes us the Body of Christ, and makes us His sons and daughters, allowing us to have a personal relationship with our Father, then why is adoption here on Earth such a foreign subject?
I am writing this in hopes to share what adoption looks like from a birthmother’s point of view. I hope to educate those to view adoption differently.
Lastly, I hope to support mothers who are considering placing for adoption and those who have.
My adoption story is a story of great love. It is a spiritual journey of discernment, trust, joy and lots of tears. Thanks for walking with me.