POPNews: 10s of Old Men Converge on Nat’l Mall for Tired March for Life

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American Life League / Flickr

In what only becomes a sadder spectacle every year, 10s of bitter old men converged on the national mall in Washington D.C. for their tired ritual of marching for the anti-abortion cause, which they call the “March for Life.”

Due to the small number of participants and their negative mood, the event consisted mainly of the men angrily shouting at pedestrians as they walked by, with a few men standing by themselves with angry facial expressions, muttering inaudibly.

Nonetheless, a sizable group of reporters from all the major papers and networks faithfully filled the media area, hopeful that the march might be more successful than past years. Despite their optimistic attitude, they admitted they were disappointed yet again.

“We would just love to have some fresher faces to photograph,” a photographer from the New York Times told ChurchPOP. “We’d put ’em right on the front page. I searched up and down the whole mall for anything resembling life and vibrance.”

“But these angry, bitter old fogeys are all we’ve got.”

One CNN anchor very amicably attempted to interview a few of the crusty, acerbic participants. With a smile and a folksy demeanor, she tried to lighten the mood, but was repeatedly rebuffed.

“Why do you journalists keep showing up year after year?” one of her interviewees was overheard shouting. “Can’t you see you’re not welcome? Get lost!”

When asked why she remained at the event after receiving that sort of response from the participants, the CNN anchor explained, “Abortion is a hot topic in our nation, and it’s my job to make sure both sides of the debate get a hearing. If they make things hard sometimes, I’ll just have to keep trying.”

Some wondered if this might end up being the last year. “Their numbers just keep dwindling,” explained a D.C. policeman who said he had provided security for the event for several years. “With so few people participating, and no young people to speak of, I don’t see how it could go on much longer.”

Here are a few photos from the fading, unsuccessful pro-life rally and march:

[Satire alert! All POPNews articles are satire and are meant only in fun.]